“Have you tried prune juice?” #BartenderTales #HashtagGames
#HashtagGames
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I clearly saw it. Han shot first!
A Catholic, a Mormon, and an evangelical walked into my bar. Business has really picked up since I decided to rename it to Guilty Hour.
Then I tell this guy, this smart ass, "Last call!" and he says, "But I can keep texting, right?"
But as I'd already told em a thousand times. No champagne in the sex room!!
Bart walked into the cantina, attacked someone. Obiwan struck off Bart's head, beginning his career as a Bart ender.
“The band didn’t stop playing until the roof collapsed.”
#BartenderTales #HashtagGames
There was this guy, George. Bad to the bone. Always drinking alone. Always ordering one scotch, one bourbon, one beer. Turns out he was with a bunch of guys calling themselves the destroyers of livers.
“She ordered her Goldschlager in a beer stein. Then she cackled like a succubus.”
#BartenderTales #HashtagGames
Replied to Darth Hideout 
We lose more bartenders because of karaoke night. Sometimes I'd rather be waterboarded than to spend 4-hours behind that bar. The more courage the drink, the worse sounds they make.
“Tea. Earl Grey. Hot.”
“Sir, this is a bar.”
"Clark Kent, you are a mean drunk. Go home."
You'll never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy.
Yeah this one crazy old dude came in, checks his coat, and starts telling me sob stories about how he hasn't seen his girl in a week, how he lost his job and his landlady kicked him out and I'm like, buddy, we all got problems. But I didn't say that. Instead I just said, "whatchu want?" And he says -- get this -- he says deadpan as all get out, "one bourbon, one scotch, and one beer."
"I hate to sound old, but I don't recognize any of the celebrities in these photos."
"That's the Wall of Shame. I'm glad you don't recognize anyone we kicked out."
Little ditty 'bout Sam and Diane…
I own a bar in a little town called Springfield. One time, I invented a new drink. 𝘐’𝘮 the one who invented it. Don’t let no one tell you otherwise! I called it the Flaming Sezduck. It was huge. I even got Aerosmith to come play at my bar.
Ted's drinking problem was wrecking my floor.
So this weird gamer gave me a Bart Simpson figurine and whatever the hell toy this thing is, then ran off giggling.
#BartenderTales
#HashTagGames
#HashtagGame
: It's an ender pearl from Minecraft, and I can't believe I found this meme.