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Thomas Maria Helzle<p>The Orb · Part III · Confusion</p><p>“If the path before you is clear, you’re probably on someone else’s.”</p><p>Carl Jung</p><p>· · · </p><p>Man must I be on my own path then...</p><p>· · · </p><p><a href="https://mastodon.art/tags/mentalhealth" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>mentalhealth</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.art/tags/trauma" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>trauma</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.art/tags/complexptsd" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>complexptsd</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.art/tags/TiXL" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>TiXL</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.art/tags/realtime" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>realtime</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.art/tags/newmediaart" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>newmediaart</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.art/tags/abstractart" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>abstractart</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.art/tags/particles" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>particles</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.art/tags/livingpainting" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>livingpainting</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.art/tags/creativecoding" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>creativecoding</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.art/tags/hlsl" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>hlsl</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.art/tags/gpu" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>gpu</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.art/tags/shader" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>shader</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.art/tags/procedural" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>procedural</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.art/tags/visualart" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>visualart</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.art/tags/audiovisual" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>audiovisual</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.art/tags/audioreactive" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>audioreactive</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.art/tags/sounddesign" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>sounddesign</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.art/tags/Zen" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>Zen</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.art/tags/wuwei" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>wuwei</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.art/tags/dao" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>dao</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.art/tags/math" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>math</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.art/tags/sdf" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>sdf</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.art/tags/signeddistancefields" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>signeddistancefields</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.art/tags/silo" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>silo</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.art/tags/bitwig" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>bitwig</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.art/tags/redux" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>redux</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.art/tags/wisdom" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>wisdom</span></a></p>
Silver Arrows<p><span class="h-card" translate="no"><a href="https://a.gup.pe/u/schizoid" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">@<span>schizoid</span></a></span> <span class="h-card" translate="no"><a href="https://a.gup.pe/u/cptsd" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">@<span>cptsd</span></a></span></p><p><a href="https://mastodon.social/tags/cptsd" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>cptsd</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.social/tags/complexptsd" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>complexptsd</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.social/tags/mentalhealth" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>mentalhealth</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.social/tags/trauma" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>trauma</span></a></p>

Yeah, subscribe to my Patreon, where you can get a weekly rundown of how awful things are, and maybe sometimes I’ll post about my music, art, or one of the two different genre books I’m working on entirely by myself. (Sarcasm, I guess?)

Maybe someday I can cut out the fear-and-stress-fueled beg-posts. As the screenshot states, we are attempting to stay in a place that costs $450 weekly. Today we’re supposed to pay that, and we only have $25 of it. This happens every week, and it takes days to recover; leaving us virtually unable to do anything but worry about staying sheltered.

We’re trying to get an RV, and it’s hard not to be frustrated that we’re spending so much to stay inside someplace that continues the emotional & physical cycles from C-PTSD and autistic meltdowns; when we could be financially independent, able to make art & music, able to regulate in nature, stay sheltered, and feel less like rats in cages if we got an RV (which we’re less than $8000 from acquiring in itself..)

Needless to say. We’re exhausted. We are hoping for a miracle every day, and unfortunately frequently wondering if we deserve to feel safe and content.

Any boosts are appreciated, and if you can donate, thank you. :heart_cyber:

All ways to help, from free, to fundraising and donations, to purchases of custom art from me, and merch & music from my partner (@magicalgrrrl ) & me are on my hyperfollow:
hyperfollow.com/LukeOrion

#ActuallyAutistic #PtsdSurvivor #ComplexPTSD #MutualAidSavesLives #MutualAid @mutualaid @actuallyautistic #Trans #TransCrowdfund #Disabled #DisabledMutualAid #DisabledCrowdfund #DisabledArtist #StarvingArtist #QueerArtist #QueerMutualAid

Sharing an early music video of mine, since I haven’t shared my music much on here and it’s #TransMusicMonday

I make music as a #Queer & #ActuallyAutistic / #Spoonie #IndependentArtist with #ComplexPTSD ( @actuallyautistic )

This is my Burning Mind MV.. Burning Mind is my first EP, with three instrumental songs.. which is why the music video is almost 9 minutes long.

Somewhat inspired by the way The Lumineer’s set up the music video for The Ballad Of Cleopatra, with multiple songs making up the music video; each with their own scenes.

Here is the video:

youtu.be/PaZLNOZjSZU?si=5-p8Ch

Fundraiser & personal update~
Good morning, everyone.
I’m grateful to say that yesterday morning, before I woke up, we received a $100 donation towards the RV fundraiser.

For anyone who doesn’t know, my partner @magicalgrrrl and I are homeless, disabled, and trans. We have 2 cats. If we had an RV, we would have a home & vehicle, and have a chance at self-sufficiency.

We’ve been staying in an extended stay hotel, which has been incredibly difficult. We need to raise more and more every week simply to stay inside, and that isn’t feasible. It’s been exacerbating my issues from autism and complex-PTSD, leaving me constantly overstimulated, and having ptsd nightmares each night.

I also make updates about our situation on my Patreon and Ko-Fi, and occasionally on TikTok. Our fundraiser is a huge priority right now, so any shares, boosts, and donations are massively appreciated!!

fundrazr.com/82UMm6

For other ways to support, please find my music, socials, all the ways to donate, and art thru my hyperfollow:

hyperfollow.com/LukeOrion

Tags: #DisabledCrowdfund #TransCrowdfund #ComplexPTSD #HomelessCrowdfund #ActuallyAutistic #LGBTQIA #Fundraising
#MutualAid #MutualAidRequest
@mutualaid @actuallyautistic

Lots of new followers so here's a lil #intro post.

I'm 35 and have a 4 month old bb with @nullagent. I have two #playwriting degrees, I read hundreds of books a year, and I'm a #queer #genderfluid #anarchist who's doing as much armchair #activism as I can with #fibromyalgia #complexptsd and an infant at home.

Some of the things I write and think about: Relationships, hierarchy, mental and emotional wellness, and my very weird childhood as a homeschooled Quiverfull kid. Occupying Duwamish land.

Please boost! Figured I’d share my hyperfollow this afternoon~

I’m an autistic, non-binary artist with complex PTSD and chronic pain. My partner @magicalgrrrl & I are currently experiencing homelessness, so we appreciate any support.

Currently, I have a handful of songs out about my experiences with complex PTSD & some about being an asexual, queer, self-described alternative hopeless romantic

I also take digital art commissions! Examples are attached (and they’re 20% off with code HOLIDAY-ART-DISCOUNT until the end of the year!)

hyperfollow.com/LukeOrion